Things I don’t say out loud

Before you read

This story reflects a personal experience of grief and loss.

Please read at your own pace and step away if you need to.

This is the right place for that permission.

I miss her.
I’m relieved sometimes and then I hate myself for that.
I don’t recognise who I am now.

Some days I feel nothing and that scares me more than the pain.
Other days I feel everything at once.

I keep thinking there must be a right way to do this and I’ve missed it.

I haven’t. I know that. I just forget.