A grief memoir that doesn’t flinch.

🖤 Order the memoir

Outside New Zealand?
You can pre-order via Amazon, Booktopia, Fishpond, or ask your favourite online provider.

This book is a raw, unfiltered account of life after losing my 24-year-old daughter, Kahlia, to suicide. It’s not about moving on, it’s about moving through.

It’s a story of love that doesn’t end, of grief that doesn’t behave, and of the relentless, aching courage it takes to live in a world without her. It’s messy, beautiful, unbearable, and true.

This isn’t a book of answers. It’s a book of questions, breakdowns, breakthroughs, and the kind of honesty most people run from. If you’ve ever lost someone or loved someone who struggled; you’ll find parts of yourself in these pages too.

This is the story I never wanted to tell. And maybe the one you need to hear.

Inside the book

  • What you'll find inside

    This isn’t a manual for grief.

    It’s the story of the first twelve months after Kahlia died, told as they happened, messy, contradictory and real.

    Alongside my story are journal entries, reflections, grief science, and the writing that helped me survive when I didn’t know what else to do.

    There are no neat answers here.

    Just the truth about what grief can do to a life, and what it can take to keep living one.

  • You might find yourself here if...

    🧡 You’re grieving someone you love.

    🧡 Your grief doesn’t look the way you thought it would.

    🧡 You feel alone in what grief has done to you.

    🧡 You’ve wondered whether you’re grieving “wrong”.

    🧡 You need someone to tell the truth about what this can actually feel like.

  • A glimpse inside

    “Kahlia was full of colour and contradiction. Wildly funny, deeply empathetic, and endlessly loyal. She had a heart big enough to hold everyone’s pain and a sense of humour sharp enough to slice through even the darkest days.

    She wore oversized jumpers and smelt like coconut and shampoo and something uniquely her. She always had a cup of coffee nearby, half-drunk and forgotten.

    She laughed with her whole body, like a kid, and danced in kitchens like no one was watching, even when they were.”

  • What readers have said

    ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

    "Such a powerful and raw journey, and a vital lifeline when you're trying to navigate the unknown world after losing someone you love."

    — Charleen

    ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

    "It reads exactly as it was lived, day by day, as someone trying to survive unimaginable loss."

    — Shelly

For reading groups, grief circles, and book clubs

The Year After Kahlia was written from one experience of grief, but the conversations inside it belong to many of us.

If you’re reading the book with others, I’ve created a free Conversation Guide to help you talk about some of what it opens up, grief, love, guilt, identity, survival, and the strange contradictions of living after someone dies.

It isn’t a study guide, and there are no right answers.

Just thoughtful questions, gentle reflection prompts, and space for the conversations we often don’t know how to begin.

[Download the Conversation Guide →]