A grief memoir that doesn’t flinch.

🖤 Order the memoir

Outside New Zealand?
You can pre-order via Amazon, Booktopia, Fishpond, or ask your favourite online provider.

This book is a raw, unfiltered account of life after losing my 24-year-old daughter, Kahlia, to suicide. It’s not about moving on, it’s about moving through.

It’s a story of love that doesn’t end, of grief that doesn’t behave, and of the relentless, aching courage it takes to live in a world without her. It’s messy, beautiful, unbearable, and true.

This isn’t a book of answers. It’s a book of questions, breakdowns, breakthroughs, and the kind of honesty most people run from. If you’ve ever lost someone or loved someone who struggled; you’ll find parts of yourself in these pages too.

This is the story I never wanted to tell. And maybe the one you need to hear.

About the book

  • What you'll find inside

    This isn't a manual for grief.

    It's a love letter, a survival story, and an honest account of what happens when life breaks apart.

    Structured around the first twelve months after Kahlia's death, each chapter combines personal stories, journal entries, reflections and hard-won truths about grief, love, guilt, identity and survival.

    These pages don't offer neat answers.

    They offer companionship.

  • Who is this for?

    💛 For those grieving the loss of a loved one.

    💛 For friends unsure of what to say.

    💛 For those feeling alone in their sorrow.

    💛 For those who need permission to grieve in their own way.

    💛 For anyone who has wondered if they are doing grief "wrong".

  • A glimpse inside

    Grief is the contradiction.

    I wanted to die and I wanted to live.

    I smiled while breaking and raged while praying.

    Love didn't cancel out anger.

    Joy didn't erase pain.

    They all lived in me at once.

    [Read the full sample chapter →]

  • What readers have said

    ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

    "Such a powerful and raw journey, and a vital lifeline when you're trying to navigate the unknown world after losing someone you love."

    — Charleen

    ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

    "It reads exactly as it was lived, day by day, as someone trying to survive unimaginable loss."

    — Shelly

For reading groups, grief circles, and book clubs

If you’re reading The Year After Kahlia with others

Download the free Conversation Guide for Grief Groups

This contains discussion questions, themes, and gentle reflection prompts to help people talk about grief more openly.

[Download the Conversation Guide →]