Grief Walk

Taking your grief somewhere with you

Sometimes staying still is the last thing you need.

Your thoughts are circling.

Your body is restless.

The house feels too small.

You've been sitting with the same feeling for hours and need somewhere else to put your feet.

So you walk.

Not to walk grief off.

Not to clear your head.

Not to come home feeling better.

Just to move while carrying what you're already carrying.

There can be something freeing about that.

No destination required.

WHEN THIS MIGHT HELP

When your mind won't stop spinning.

When you've been inside too long.

When you feel restless, agitated or trapped.

When you want to be alone without being enclosed by four walls.

Or when you miss them and want somewhere you can talk to them without anybody wondering who the hell you're talking to. 😂

This can be a ten-minute walk around the block.

It doesn't need to involve a mountain, hiking boots or personal growth.

A SIMPLE GRIEF WALK

1 - Choose somewhere you can simply walk

The beach.

A park.

A bush track.

Around your neighbourhood.

Through the city.

Down the road and back again.

Maybe somewhere connected to them.

Maybe somewhere with absolutely no memories attached.

Choose whatever feels right today.

You don't have to go somewhere beautiful for this to count.

2 - Walk the way your body wants to

Slowly if you need quiet.

Fast if you're angry.

Stop every few minutes.

Sit on a bench halfway through.

Kick leaves.

Stomp.

Put your hands in your pockets and stare at the ground.

There is no meditative pace you're supposed to find.

Let walking simply be walking.

3 - Notice something outside yourself

Not everything.

You don't need to suddenly become intensely mindful of every bird and blade of grass.

Just notice one thing.

The wind.

The temperature.

The sound of traffic.

The sea.

A dog doing something ridiculous.

The feeling of your feet meeting the ground.

Something outside the loop inside your head.

Then keep walking.

4 - Let your thoughts come too

You don't need to empty your mind.

That instruction has always seemed wildly optimistic anyway. 😂

Think about them.

Think about dinner.

Replay a conversation.

Get angry.

Remember something beautiful.

Forget why you came out walking altogether.

Grief doesn't need your undivided attention.

You can carry it without concentrating on it every second.

-5 - Say something if you want to

Their name.

A sentence.

A whole conversation.

I miss you.

I'm so angry today.

You would have loved this.

I wish you were walking beside me.

Or say nothing.

Sometimes having somewhere to speak freely can matter.

Sometimes silence is exactly what you need.

IF YOU WANT SOMETHING TO BRING HOME

You might notice a stone.

A shell.

A fallen leaf.

A feather.

Something small that catches your attention.

Pick it up if that's appropriate where you are.

Take it home.

Put it beside a photograph.

Drop it into your memory box.

Write the date on it.

Or put it back before you leave.

It doesn't need to become symbolic unless you want it to.

Sometimes a stone is just a stone you found on a day you missed them.

And sometimes that's precisely why you keep it.

IF WALKING ISN'T AVAILABLE TO YOU

The ritual isn't really about walking.

It's about movement, surroundings and giving yourself a change of space.

Wheel somewhere.

Sit outside.

Drive to the sea and stay in the car.

Move around the garden.

Stand at an open window.

Stretch on the floor.

Put on a song and move however your body allows.

Adapt the ritual to your body.

You don't need to complete a particular physical act for it to count.

IF THE WALK DOESN'T MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER

Good.

Well, not good. But normal.

This isn't a prescription for feeling better.

You may come home just as sad.

You might cry halfway around.

You might become angrier.

You might feel calmer.

You might feel absolutely no different.

The walk hasn't failed.

Not everything we do with grief has to improve it.

Sometimes we are simply finding ways to live alongside it for the next half hour.

SOMETHING TO CARRY

There is a lot of language about “moving forward” after someone dies.

As though grief were a road and eventually we should get far enough along it that the person we love disappears behind us.

I don't think that's what walking through grief looks like.

You can move and still carry them.

You can change and still love them.

You can walk towards a future you never asked for without pretending the past no longer matters.

Movement isn't the same as leaving behind.

WITH EACH STEP

I am not walking away from you.

I am not trying to outrun grief.

I am simply moving through this day.

Sometimes slowly.

Sometimes angrily.

Sometimes noticing the world.

Sometimes noticing nothing but how much I miss you.

You were part of where I have been.

You are part of what I carry.

And I can keep walking without leaving you behind.