Start wherever you are.
You don't need to work through these in order, and you certainly don't need to do all of them.
Choose the one that meets you where you are today. Change it. Ignore half of it. Make it yours.
A ritual only needs to mean something to you.
Birthday Without Them
When to Use It:
On their birthday, or in the days leading up to it, when the ache sharpens and the date feels sacred.
Christmas Isn’t the Same
When to Use It:
Throughout December, especially on Christmas Day, when traditions feel broken and everything aches louder.
The Grief Garden
When to Use It:
In springtime or whenever you need to plant something new from your sorrow.
A Box of Memory
When to Use It:
When you need to feel close, or when memories start slipping through the cracks.
The Saying of the Name
When to Use It:
When people stop mentioning them. When you feel like their memory is fading.
Grief and the Body
When to Use It:
When grief gets stuck in your chest, throat, or limbs. When your body forgets how to breathe.
The Deathaversary
When to Use It:
On the anniversary of their death. The day the world changed.
The Permission Slip
When to Use It: Anytime you need to give yourself grace. Anytime you forget that you’re allowed to grieve your way.
Light in the Dark
When to Use It:
When grief feels heavy, or when you need a quiet moment of remembrance — especially at night, on anniversaries, or significant dates.
The Empty Chair
When to Use It:
On birthdays, Christmas, family meals, or any occasion where their absence echoes loudly.
Grief Walk
When to Use It:
When your mind won’t stop spinning, when you feel trapped inside, or need a sense of movement through grief.
Letters They’ll Never Read
When to Use It:
When words get stuck, when memories feel too loud, or when there’s something you still want to say.